LETTER TO A DRUG ADDICT: “I COULD GIVE A RAT’S ASS”
Hi Friend, it’s me just waiting to hook you up. Sneak out. I’ll be waiting.
Don’t listen to that “inner voice” your Family talks about. You know the one, “We’re here for you”. “Let’s get you into a Treatment Centre”. “Detox”. “The life you deserve”.
Nag. Nag. Nag. That’s all they ever do. They say it’s because they “love you”. “They want you to be able to live a full and healthy life”. Well to hell with them. I could give a rat’s ass about that. That right. No pressure from me. I say, it’s your life.
I could give a rat’s ass if you lie, steal or manipulate the people in your life. That’s their problem.
I could give a rat’s ass if you break into houses, steal cars, shoplift or steal old ladies purses. No pressure from me. I’ll be there whenever you want me. I don’t judge anyone. I’m an equal opportunity friend.
You will do anything to have me in your life. You will devastate your Family – your parents, brothers and sister. You will lose your life partner. Your wife. Your husband. Your children. You will lose your job, your car, your home, your friends. But I could give a rat’s ass. I’ll still be there whenever you want me.
I am here whenever you invite me. I only show up when you call for me. Your choice. That’s right. As long as you want me in your life, I will be there.
I will be waiting for you when you end up in jail. I’ll be waiting when you are beaten to a pulp. I’ll be waiting for your release from hospital if you lose an arm from using dirty needles. Hell, who needs the veins in that arm anyways. They’re pretty much all collapsed. You can use the veins in your neck, or feet or groin. You have other options.
Your Mom is sitting by your bedside. Tears running down her cheeks. I say, “Get a grip lady”. I could give a rat’s ass about her. But, I’ll be waiting for you. I will always be there when you want me. I’ll never be more than a phone call away.
I don’t let you feel anything. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. I take care of that. And I’ll leave you feeling empty. And when you die, well, I won’t give a rat’s ass. There are millions of people whose lives I can own.
Yup that’s me. A fickle friend. I took everything from you. Well, actually that’s not true. YOU GAVE IT ALL TO ME AND I COULD GIVE A RAT’S ASS.
Thanks for the memories.
Your drug of choice, Heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine, crystal meth.
P.S A piece of advice: You should have listened to the people who loved you. They really did care. But me? Well like I said – I gave a rat’s ass about you.
Written by June Ariano-Jakes, author of Addiction: A Mother’s Story
7 thoughts on “Letter To A Drug Addict – “I Could Give A Rat’s Ass”!!”
My prayers go out to u and my heart aches for u also…It isnt easy living with an addict…and u r right.. even the mood swings r unimaginable. This letter u wrote and I just read was very well written… and I thank you very much for sharing it… GOD Bless U…and ur child…I pray that ur child is able to kick this habit once and for all!
Thank you so much Mary for your note and for keeping my son in your thoughts and prayers. Your kindness is appreciated very much. Take good care.
June-you are a stong woman but his situation is out of your hands. My son went through residental rehab, twice. The first time he was cocky about it, spent 2 months there. One month later, back on the heroin. Second time, totally different. He reached out for help. He went back to rehab and spent 1 year there. This month he is 2 years clean, working, owns a home and found a wonderful person to share his life with. The difference between the 1st and 2nd time? He understood the drug was controlling him, not the other way around as he felt the first time. Second time scared him. And I promised to get him to rehab and to turn my back on him if he relapsed. And I meant it. Very hard decision for a mother to make but he realized that he would not have family support if he used again. My family stood behind me on this decision. He is 24.
Find him a good rehab-most in patient rehabs don’t allow enough time to get to the root of the problem. As for you, please, please realize that doing drugs is not a reflection on your mothering-you have to remain stong and get through this.
My heart goes out to you and I hope someday you will have your son back, healthy and happy as you deserve.
Thank you so very much for taking the time to write and for your words of wisdom and support for me and the many other families who will read your words.
Please forgive the delay in getting a response from me – I did send off a reply yesterday but I must have pressed delete instead of post. I apologize.
I am so very, very happy that your son grabbed that lifeline you were throwing him and that his second time in treatment found the tools and was willing to let go and accept the lessons he needed to live the life he so deserved. I congratulate him and you for your strength and love. For the boundaries you set – that really is LOVE.
Thank you for reminding us all, that the situation with our using loved one is completely out of our hands. We have not caused this disease and we can’t cure it – we can’t stop it. Only our addicted loved one has the power to do that.
Why one will accept the help given and another will not time and time again is heartbreaking and mind-boggling. But we all remain hopeful that the next time our loved one reaches out he or she will take to heart the help available to them and be willing to live the lessons, live the skills, that allows them to live the life they deserve. Happy, healthy and feeling whole.
Again Friend, thank you for your encouragement and support and sharing your story of hope. Take good care.
i am terrified
Wow that says it all! I feel for you. We have been down the same road and our son is now clean and sober for 7-8 months and has lost all desire. Maybe turning 40 helped!
My prayers are with you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on Letter To A Drug Addict. I am so very happy to hear your son has found his power and is now able to lead the life you prayed he’d find. The life he deserves to live. With that, I hope you are able to enjoy the peace that you most definitely deserve, so that you too can live the life you so richly deserve.
Take good care and please congratulate your son for me. You will all remain in my thoughts.