What Message Does Addiction: A Mother’s Story (Second Edition) Send, and to Who?

If you are the parent whose teen or adult child is battling drug addiction, then absolutely, Addiction:  A Mother’s Story – The Second Edition, is  most definitely for you. 

If you have a brother, sister, husband, wife, mother, father, or friend struggling with addiction,  then yes, Addiction: A Mother’s Story is also for you.

As parents and family members who have a loved one  addicted to drugs or alcohol – we know the journey better than anyone else, of what addiction means.  As parents, we understand the heartache.  The struggles.  The devastation.  The lengths, we as parents will go through, to help our drug addicted loved one.  We understand each other like no one else can.  We share the same journey.  We may live in different parts of the country or different parts of the world, but our journey, yours and mine will be the same.  We will try the same things to help our addicted loved one, we will cry the same tears, we will experience the same heartbreak and we will make the same deals with God.

Our children have become hostages to drug addiction and we have become hostages to their  addicted behavior.

Society judges the addict as a flawed person,  and I understand that, if the only thing seen is the behavior.  But as parents, as family members who have a loved one addicted, we know they are much more than where their addiction has taken them.

Families who have loved ones addicted often feel negatively judged as well.  Over the years I have have had several parents tell me how they feel marginalized by remarks some family members, friends, neighbours, and strangers have made.  As if somehow they had failed as a parent.

I am sure you have heard heartless comments made when an addict is found dead or a girl or guy working in the sex trade to feed their addiction is found beaten or murdered.  That somehow they are “less than”.  Comments like, “Play with fire, expect to get burned”. So often we hear a comment like, “Where were the parents, why weren’t they trying to help them”?

Sound familiar?

Of course it does.

What they don’t realize is that you and I had been trying everything we can possibly think of for years to help our addicted loved one. That you would do anything, give anything to make them whole.  To make them well.

All to often people are quick to pass judgement .  Do we need to hear those comments?  Absolutely not!!  Heck, we have already beaten ourselves up asking the same questions.  We know what self-blame is all about.  We already blame ourselves thinking it is something we did or didn’t do that lead our kids to our child’s drug addiction.  If you wonder what self-blame is, ask the parent of an addict!!

The reality is, we did absolutely nothing to cause the addiction.  When our loved one first made a choice to use a potentially addictive drug, they made a moral choice.  However, once addiction raised its ugly head, our loved one began to feel the pull of, and the entrapment of, the disease of addiction.

Do they have a choice in where the disease of addiction will take them?

Of course they do.  But if it was that simple we would not have hundreds of millions of people worldwide, struggling with addiction, so profound, so devastating, that they would lose everything they love for that next fix or that next drink.

Addiction is a disease that devastates lives.  Devastates families.  Devastates communities.

As parents we all did the very best we could.  The very best we could with what we knew at any given time.  We love our children.  We did not cause the disease of addiction and we cannot cure it.  Only our addicted loved ones have the power to do that.  And when deep in their addiction, they do not believe they can.

As parents we see beyond the addiction and remember the person underneath all that baggage.  We desperately want them back.  We want society to know they are more than their addiction.  Much, much more.

I wish every  first responder – policemen, firemen, ambulance attendants, doctors and nurses in hospital emergency departments would read Addiction: A Mother’s Story – The Second Edition because sadly all to often, our addicted loved ones are treated with frustration and disrespect by many of these first responders.  As if our loved ones are wasting their time.  Are taking up time they would rather spend elsewhere.  I would love them to read this most real account of what addiction truly is, so that the compassion that initially lead them to their chosen career, will be shown to those we love so deeply.

I do understand the frustration first responders  may feel if they see the same people time and time again.  But addiction is not a character flaw.  It is a disease.  And although it cannot be treated like most diseases, we have to recognize, that addiction is devastating the precious lives of those we love.  They are sick.  They need help.  Not intolerance.  Not disrespect.  Not marginalization.

Throughout Addiction: A Mother’s Story – Second Edition – you will read of the many things I tried to do to help my son battle the horrific disease of addiction that held him hostage for twenty-three years .  What he lived with.  What helped.  What didn’t.  What I did.  What I wished I had done differently.  About effectively helping and about enabling.  Tough love.  Hitting bottom, both Nathan’s and mine.  You will undoubtedly recognize your own efforts as a parent as you travel this journey with me.

I frequently receive powerful and heartfelt feedback from mothers, in particular,  who tell me they have felt so alone in their grief and heartache.  Moms who have told me my story is their story.  Different loved ones.  Different parts of the world.  But the same feelings.  The same desperation.  The same heartbreak.

So what message does Addiction: A Mother’s Story – Second Edition – send and to who?

Well, I am first and foremost a Mother.  Nothing in my life compares to that privilege.  Addiction: A Mother’s Story – Second Edition is my story.  It is a Mother’s Story.  The story of my son’s addiction through my eyes.  What I lived with, with my son whom I so deeply love.  As a parent to four other beautiful children and the affect of addiction on their lives.  So Addiction: A Mother’s Story is for you, if you are the parent or family member of someone battling addiction.

And as I mentioned previously,  I would like to see every policeman and woman read Addiction: A Mother’s Story.  I would like every doctor,nurse, lawyer, judge, teacher counselor, parent, and teenager read Addiction: A Mother’s Story.  I want individuals who interact with our loved ones to know they are dealing with  people  battling a devastating disease and that they are more, much more than  where their addiction has taken them.

Addiction: A Mother’s Story is the true story of addiction.  This is what drug addiction truly is.   Not a polished or cleaned up version.  This is the real story.  This is what we as the parents of drug addicted adult children live with.  These are the people we love.  They are not throwaways.  Our loved ones are sick. Devastatingly sick and they need help.

Addiction affects people in every walk of life.  Addiction does not discriminate.  Those battling addiction are our loved ones.  They are treasured.  They have feelings and are very often in very fragile states.  They cry, they feel immense sadness and overwhelming guilt. And we as their parents feel exactly the same.  We too,  more often than not, are also in very fragile states.  And yet we carry on, because we have too.  We will not give up on those we love so deeply.

As  parents we never ever expected to be in the position we are in, but we are, and we are doing absolutely everything we can to encourage those we love to find their way out of the darkness of addiction.

This Second Edition of Addiction: A Mother’s Story  continues the story of Nathan’s twenty-three devastating addiction and where it took him.  And where it took us as a family.  It is profound. It is often heartbreaking.  And it will give you much needed hope.

Addiction: A Mother’s Story also lets you know exactly how our addicted loves ones are treated by all the various “players” in the drug scene.  The dealers, the gangs, the violence, slum landlords.  As well as recovery houses, treatment facilities, the police, the healthcare system.

This Second Edition will provide you with incredible insight into the life of your addicted loved  one and sadly, sometimes the treatment they receive by those we expect to help them.

I hope Addiction: A Mother’s Story speaks to your heart.

Be kind to yourself and remember, you are not alone.  I truly care.

Much love,

June

2 thoughts on “What Message Does Addiction: A Mother’s Story (Second Edition) Send, and to Who?

  1. Beverly Bull

    Thank you June, hope your son is doing well, always afraid to ask as we both know that it is never ‘truly’ over.

    Our son who tried it all ending up on the hard stuff is now doing well, has a good job, fiance, bought a home. We pray that it lasts. He has made a lot of changes for the better and says he never wants to go back.

    Keep well Beverly On May 11, 2016 11:00 AM, “Addiction. A Mothers Story” wrote:

    > junearianojakes posted: “If you are the parent whose teen or adult child > is battling drug addiction, then absolutely, Addiction: A Mother’s Story > is most definitely for you. If you have a brother, sister, husband, wife, > mother, father, friend, neighbour, co-worker, then yes,” >

    1. Thank you so much for your note Beverly – and so happy to hear your son is doing so well. I could not be more happy for you and for him and the life he is building.

      I am also so happy to say that after 23 years of hardcore addiction that took him to the bowels of hell, my son Nathan has been clean since February 17th, 2014. Every single day of having him clean is a blessing and a gift. A true miracle.

      From the time my first edition of Addiction: A Mother’s Story came out until Nathan pulled himself out of his addiction – two more years – of continuing drug use and the unbelievable pain and devastation he suffered at the hands of people and places of devastation, heartbreak and unimaginable abuse and harm.

      Addiction: A Mother’s Story – Second Edition – follows those years and provides a great deal of insight and awareness into the lives of those we love who suffer from their addiction, those of us who love them so deeply, and the individuals who affect their lives in both positive and negative ways.

      Once again Beverly – thank you so much for updating me on how your son is doing. I know how very proud you are of him. And he so proud to have a Mom who never gave up.

      Take good care.

      Much love,

      June

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