About the Book

 Second Edition Available Now

**  Includes 30 new chapters  **

Addiction_251x375pxAddiction impacts every life, everywhere, in one way or another.  We may be the family member of a person battling addiction or perhaps a friend, coworker or neighbor.

My son battled heroin and cocaine addiction for twenty-three years.  He is polite, charming and handsome.  He is kind and loving and generous.  However, throughout his addiction he lied, stole, manipulated and used good people.  He robbed banks.  He had been in and out of detox facilities, recovery houses and programs.  He had also been in treatment centers in both Canada and the USA.  He has been in prison.

Addiction: A Mother’s Story (Second Edition) is the story of addiction through a Mother’s eyes.  It is the story of the journey of addiction with my son whom I deeply, deeply love.

As parents we search for answers and go to what might be considered unbelievable lengths to try and help our drug addicted children whom we love so much.  Over those twenty-three years I read well over 200 books and thousands of articles written primarily by doctors, psychiatrists and psychologist, addictions counselors and specialists in the field of addiction.  I have read several stories written by addicts in recovery.  Over the years what I perhaps needed most, was to read about addiction through the eyes of a parent.  By a mother or father whose knowledge and awareness of addiction was also accompanied by a lifetime of love, of memories and emotions that only a parent can know.

I sincerely hope that Addiction: A Mother’s Story helps you help yourself, your addicted loved one and all your Family by acknowledging the love and the ties that bind us while we battle this disease with our loved one.

Addiction: A Mother’s Story shows the progression of Nathan’s addiction as the chapters unfold and how that addiction played out.  How his addiction progressed to devastating and life altering circumstances, and how it affected Nathan, our family and myself.

Throughout Addiction: A Mother’s Story,  you will read of the many things I tried to do to help my son battle the  horrific disease of addiction.  What helped, what didn’t.  What I did, what I wished I had done differently.  About effectively helping and about enabling.  Tough love.  Hitting bottom.  Both Nathan’s and mine.  You will undoubtedly recognize your own efforts as a parent as you travel this journey with me.

I know your heart is breaking.  I hope Addiction: A Mother’s Story speaks to that  heart.   This is the story of my journey as the Mom of a hard-core addict, navigating the road of his addiction.

The following is the Table of Contents:                                                               
1.    I Met The Devil—His Name Was Addiction
2.    The Biggest Mistake Of My Life
3.    Who Was To Know That Such A Gentle Soul Would
One Day Live In Such A Violent World?
4.    Family Background
5.    Drug Traffickers Are Like Pedophiles
6.    Thugs And Cowards: An Acknowledgment Of The
Ongoing Violence*
7.    Nathan Loved His Family, But He Loved Drugs More
8.    Addiction And Fishing Are Not So Very Different*
9.    Unless You Walk A Mile In Someone’s Shoes
10.   Boy, Did I Get A Dose Of Humility
11.   Gram Had Lou Gehrig’s Disease, And Nathan Was Unable
To Be Physically Or Emotionally Present
12.   Just One Of Many Beatings
13.   Little Brothers Only See What They Know
14.   I Felt I Had Just Shaken The Hand Of The Devil Himself
15.   Commit To Change—It’s Time To Regain Our Power
16.   Another Dangerous And Horrible “Friendship”
17.   Each Time I Thought He’d Reached Bottom, He Hadn’t

18.   So Many Losses, So Many Deaths, and a Psychosis That
Would Last Days
19.   We Cannot Control Our Addicted Loved One Any More Than
We Can Control The Weather
20.   Addicts Are Not Disposable Commodities—They Are Our
Sons And Daughters, And They Are Deeply Loved**
21.   From 205 Pounds To 110 Pounds And Seeing Snakes Everywhere
22.   Thank You To All The People In The USA Who Stepped Up
And Gave Us Help**
23.   The Day Things Changed
24.   Holding Onto Our Power . . . And Letting Go
25.   How Do All The Drugs Get Into North America?
26.   Screwed Again
27.   “Polite Robber Hits Bank”
28.   “Fuck You”
29.   I Loved Seeing My Son, But I Hated Being At The Prison
30.   Letters To The Parole Board
31.   On Parole And On The Lam
32.   I Accepted That With Each Stumble, Nathan Was Learning
Something Essential
33.   The Revolving Door
34.   The Warmth In His Eyes Seemed Gone
35.   Well, Call Me Stupid, But My Heart Was In The Right Place
36.   Will The Violence Never End?
37.   There Is Only Up From Where They’ve Been, And There Is
Only Up From Where Their Choices Have Taken Us*
38.   Recovery Houses—The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly*
39.   Slum Landlords*
40.   “Please Look At These Photos—Have You Seen My Son?”*
41.   A Relapse*
42.   Relapse And Relapse Prevention

43.   “You Can’t Understand Me, Mom—Just Love Me.”*
44.   Hate The Disease—Love The Person*
45.   The Kindest Thing You Can Do*
46.   Doctors, Nurses, the Hospital System, and Drug Addicts*
47.   “A Loved One”*
48.   “Let’s Go Beat Up Some Homeless People Tonight.”*
49.   Homelessness And Our Addicted Loved Ones*
50.   “Where Would You Bury A Body?”*
51.   Thanksgiving Day: What Does It Mean To Those Who Have
A Loved One Struggling With Addiction?*
52.   What A Difference A Day Can Make*
53.   Nathan Taught Me More About Myself Than I Ever Could
Have Learned On My Own
54.   “Do You Know Who The Fuck I Am?”*
55.   If I Had Only Known Then What I Know Now . . . But I Had To Experience It First**
56.   Letter To A Drug Addict: “I Could Give A Rat’s Ass.”*
57.   Time To Let The Guilt Go. You Didn’t Fail. You Aren’t
To Blame.
58.   Never Give Up Hope, Even If It Takes Twenty-Three Years.
The Miracle You Are Waiting For May Be Just Around The Corner.*
59.   “If You Have Nothing Good To Say . . .”*
60.   Unscrupulous Pharmacies*
61.   “For An Old Lady, You Sure Can Run Fast.”*
62.   Protecting The Child Or Punishing The Addict?*
63.   Abusive Police Officers*
64.   Unconditional Love and Devotion*
65.   The Gap In The System—And That Window Of Opportunity
Once Again Slams Shut*
66.   Treatment or Punishment—Treatment or Incarceration?*
67.   Narcan/Naloxone Saves Lives*

68.   Disconnected Society*

69.   Time To Let The Anger Go*

Appendix:  Commonly Abused Drugs:  Their Signs, Addictiveness and Consequences

8 thoughts on “About the Book

  1. Carla

    Hello June. Your book is something I am really looking forward to ordering and reading. I can feel the pain rise up in me as I was reading your excerpt. I have a son that has been battling drug addiction for a very long time now. Dealing with it is so very painful and confusing. A lot of people cannot grasp the depth of despair and anguish that a parent goes through when dealing with an addicted child. No matter what their age, what they’re doing, or how bad it gets, they are still your child. I feel isolated and there doesn’t seem to be anyone I can go to and express all the feelings I have inside of me. I ache to see my son become free of his addictions and demons. To become a productive member of society again. The guilt I feel for somehow being responsible, has taken it’s toll on me. My health has suffered and I have taken on a few addictions of my own. Thank you June for writing the book. I look forward to reading it.


    1. Thank you for taking the time to write Carla. I really feel you will benefit from reading Addiction: A Mother’s Story – Second Edition Carla, as everything you have described as feeling is exactly what I went through as well.

      We do blame ourselves as Mothers – thinking if we had done such a good job of raising our child, then how could this have happened. We think we have failed them. And you are absolutely right – it doesn’t matter what their age or what they have done, they are still our children and we love them deeply. I do talk about these very things in the book and know Carla, that unless you handed your son the drugs and said “try this”, then you are not to blame. Do we wish we had done some differently looking back? Of course we do sometimes. But remember, you did the very best you could, with what you knew, at that time.

      I know there will be chapters in Addiction: A Mother’s story that you will read and say, “I could have written this”. Our children may be from different communities, maybe even different countries, but the heartache and heartbreak we experience as their Moms, will be the same. We love our sons and that will never change. You and your son will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please stay in touch Carla, I truly care.

      From one Mom to another, I am sending you a hug wrapped in care and understanding.

      Very sincerely,

  2. Debbie

    I was searching for a book for my son a heroin addict and came across your book. I am living so much daily pain that I am not sure if I want to relive more in your book. I am happy to see that evryone loves it thoough.

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to write Debbie – I am so sorry for all you and your son are going through. The pain of watching an adult child we love, living the life of addiction is gut-wrenching. It is absolutely devastating.

      If you ever decide to read Addiction: A Mother’s Story, you may find something in it that speaks to your heart – from one Mother to another. Just re-enforcing that you did nothing to cause your son’s addiction. As Moms we tend to blame ourselves – “if I was such a good Mom then how could this have happened” all to often runs through our head. It is the “Mother guilt thing” that I think we Moms have.

      Please feel free to write anytime Debbie if you just feel the need to share or vent or cry – you are not alone. I truly care.

      Very sincerely,

      1. Deb

        Thank you June for writing. I have been so heavy hearted lately. Between my sons addiction and he is in rehab again and my moms Alzheimer’s has her living a home now:-( I guess it’s part holiday blues too. Things I have no control over are very hard for me! But I did get up early and went to the beach to watch sun come up and walk. I do find peace there. I am so grateful to have that magnificent place within walking distance:-) I am trying to focus on the positive and be thankful for the good in my life instead of obsessing on negatives. Not any easy thing to do but I HAVE to or I am going to either away. Maybe I will get the book:-) thank you again for your kind words. Deb

        Sent from my iPhone


      2. Please accept my apologies for the delay in getting back to you Deb – I volunteer at Surrey Urban Mission in Whalley, BC most days and evenings keeping the shelter open for those living in homelessness now that we have our winter weather.

        I feel your sadness and heartbreak in every word you have written. You are carrying an enormous load between your son’s addiction and your Mom’s illness. The holidays also are often the most difficult time of year for many of us living with a loved one’s addiction. That feeling of “another Christmas – another year coming to an end” and still the enormity of the situation remains a constant. Hopefully this will be the time your son finds those pieces, finds that strength within, has the will to grasp the lifeline to live a clean and sober life.

        In the meantime Deb – do allow yourself to feel. And give yourself permission to enjoy your walks along the beach and anything else that can bring some joy into your day if even for a short time. You are clearly a loving, giving, caring person. Don’t forget yourself in that mix my Friend.

        Take good care and please keep in touch.

        Very sincerely,

  3. Lindsey

    Hi June, would this book be appropriate for a mother who has an adult addict (in his 50’s). Im pretty sure age doesnt matter, but just so some of the levels are well related…thanks

    1. Thank you so much for your inquiry Lindsey. Yours is an excellent question. My son will be forty in a couple of months – so in regards to your question, yes I do feel Addiction: A Mother’s Story will speak to your heart.

      As Mothers who have adult or teenagers struggling and living with addiction, our feelings, our fears, and worries are very much the same. We are in a situation of unbearable pain and anguish, where we would do anything to help our addicted loved one and yet we are powerless over their choices. Addiction: A Mother’s Story really is directed at those of us who are Mothers. Absolutely anyone who has a loved one struggling with addiction will relate but the undeniable bond, connection, that we as Mother’s have, influences all the choices we make in regards to our teen or adult child and their addiction. We think both with our head and our heart. Nothing is completely black and white.

      I really do believe you will find Addiction: A Mother’s Story will speak to your heart. Will acknowledge how you feel and hopefully help you as you continue with heartbreaking journey.

      You and your son will be in my thoughts.

      Take care of yourself Lindsey and please keep in touch. You are not alone. I truly do care.

      Very sincerely,

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